Do you know how happy couples resolve issues?

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How happy couples resolve issues

While intimacy, recreation, household, health, communication, and money is the most serious for older couples, couples in both samples jealous rank, religion and family as the most serious.

While all couples tend to fight issues such as children, money, and in-laws, the researchers say that what distinguishes the happy couple from others is their approach to the conflict.

For the study, published in the journal Family Process, the researchers looked at two samples heterosexual, mostly white, educated couples who described themselves as happily married.

Fifty-seven of the couple are in their mid to late 30s and have been married for an average of nine years; 64 of the pair are in their 70s and had been married for an average of 42 years.

Couples were asked to rank their problems are the most and least serious.

While intimacy, recreation, household, health, communication, and money is the most serious for older couples, couples in both samples jealous rank, religion and family as the most serious.

When the researchers looked at couples discuss marital problems, all of the couples focused on problems with the more obvious solutions, such as the distribution of household labor and how to spend leisure time.

Couples rarely choose to argue about the issues that are more difficult to resolve, the researchers said, adding that this strategic decision may be one key to the success of their marriage.

“Focus on the eternal, the problem is more difficult-to-overcome-partners may undermine confidence in the relationship,” Rauer said.

The study also found that the first focus on problems more solvable may be an effective way to build a sense of security both partners in the relationship.

“If couples feel that they can work together to resolve their problems, it might give them the confidence to move on to tackle more difficult issues,” Rauer said.

The researchers also found that couples who marry again reported fewer serious problems and argue less overall.

“Being able to distinguish between issues that need to be resolved than those that can be ruled out at this time may be one of the keys to long-term relationships, happy,” added Rauer.

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